There’s a saying amongst expats here: ‘Only in France...’. It tends to mean when you see something that to you is unusual, but to the French is normal.
Cultural differences are always fun to explore. We may not like all of them, but interestingly over time, those moments become less surprising. Some even become familiar. And a few quietly work their way into your own habits. Over the decade I have been here, I have noted a particular handful of these everyday diffferences. The kind that on the surface seem small, but actually say quite a lot.
What is normal?
If you are a visitor to a foreign culture, simply remember that their history was different from yours. And it is often history that shapes what we think of as ‘normal’ today. But what is one persons ‘normal’ may not be another’s.
Sometimes it surprises us what others do. There may even be an ‘ah-ha’ moment when you think, now why don’t we do that? And if we don’t do it, it may be interesting to delve into why.
Doing it Differently
Much is often made of France’s way of doing things ‘different’. Southern Fried French highlighted some fun images in their own blog post ‘Only in France’. They make mention of dogs being allowed in restaurants. Or that those living in cities hang their laundry on lines outside their windows. (Though this latter is true in many european cities, not only in France.)
Along those lines, my favourite is the hanging the duvet out the window on a sunny morning. In keeping with this, it is also common to open windows and shutters to let fresh air in for a while each day, even in winter. So whilst the window is open, why not air your bed linen? (Tick, yup adopted that one.)
Quiet Logic and Litter
Another favourite is a very subtle one. Next time you are walking in France, take a note of the odd glove, scarf, hub cap, really anything. These aren’t random things. They are deliberate. If something is dropped, it is rarely left where it falls. Instead, someone will pick it up and place it somewhere visible. Somewhere the owner might reasonably look if they retraced their steps.
In general, litter is not prevalent in France, particularly compared to say the UK or USA. So it becomes more noticeable when something is ‘left behind’. It’s such a subtle gesture that you could easily overlook it. But once you notice it, you begin to see it everywhere.
The Unspoken Rules
Some of the most striking differences are not visual at all. They are social. Small rules that shape how people interact. Take the simple act of saying hello. Bonjour when in France. Whenever you enter a public space, in example a shop, before you ask for anything, before you even begin to browse, you say bonjour. Not just to the person behind the counter, but often to the room itself. It’s not optional. It’s not exaggerated politeness. It’s simply how things are done. There’s even a greeting to encompass everyone ‘Bonjour Messieurs-dames’ (Hello all men and women, or really everyone.)
At first, it feels overly formal. But over time, you will realise it changes the tone of every interaction. Even the briefest exchange begins with acknowledgement. And no ‘bonjour’ said instantly pegs you as a rude, or a tourist.
When living and thus walking in a village, it is expected to greet every person with at least a Bonjour, whether walking dogs or simply heading to the shops. (Not in cities, you would be saying Bonjour every second.) Mostly it’s a passing ‘Bonjour’. If you know them vaguely it may get boosted to a ‘Bonjour. Ca va?’ (Hello, how are you.) Know them well, be ready to stop for a little conversation. It can take a while to get to where you are going on some days.
Everyday rhythms
Life in France often follows a different rhythm, particularly around food and time. Lunch, for example, is not something to be hurried. In many places, especially smaller towns, shops close in the middle of the day. People go home, or sit down properly, and eat. It’s not a sandwich eaten at your desk while working. It’s a distinctive, rejuvenation gearing you up for the rest of the day.
This sense of foodie culture structure appears again in other ways. Meals happen at certain times. You can almost set your watch by them. (Lunch: 12 – 2pm, Dinner 7 – 9pm.) Snacking is essentially non-existent, more defined (4 – 5pm). And only done if you are hungry. It even has a name – the goûter (pronounced goo-tay). And then, as evening approaches, there is the ritual of the apéro (between 5 – 7pm). A drink, something small to nibble, a moment to mark the transition from day to night, from work to relax, with friends or family.
Shared understanding
There are also moments that reflect something more collective. Take the month of August. In almost all parts of France, life slows noticeably. Shops close, towns and cities quieten as a good majority of France goes on holiday. To an outsider, it can feel inconvenient. But as time passes you discover there is also something refreshing in the idea that rest is not only accepted, but expected.
Similarly, strikes. It feels almost a national past time, but it’s more serious than that. It’s a right to have your voice heard. So while disruptive, they are also understood and part of the social fabric. Not necessarily welcomed, but recognised as a legitimate way of expressing concern. There is an underlying sense that certain things matter enough to pause for.
A different perspective
“Only in France” begins as an observation. A way of marking the gap between what you know and what you are discovering. But gradually, it becomes something else. It becomes a new way of seeing. A reminder that there is more than one way to do things.
Of course, not every difference feels charming. Some can be confusing, inconvenient, or simply downright annoying. But if you choose to live here, or truly understand an adopted culture, you have to learn to lean into it. Maybe not full acceptance, but at least tolerance. And maybe some complaining. That too is a French national past time, though certainly in a more interesting, debating style way than whining.
More French Life Musings
If you would like to discover more from my insights of moving to and living a life in France, check out my French Findings. Enjoyed exploring these cultural differences? Check out my ultimate guide to navigating another classic quirk: French Toilets, Everything You Need to Know.
If you enjoy my French insights, please consider nourishing my writings. And speaking of Only in France, you’ll find some truly quirky and very French things in My Shop. Go on, have a browse…
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